


Me of all People!?

by DarkVanity



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), resident evil 8, resident evil village
Genre: Biting, Blood Drinking, F/F, First off... this is gay and I was bored, Fluff, Guitar, Horny ass, Kinky, Music, Romance, Rough Kissing, Sexual Tension, Smut, Thicc Thighs, Vampires, is definitely gonna happen, it will happen it takes time ok?, kinky ass, maybe smut, music is involved, reader is a maid, tall woman, thick thighs, uwu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:48:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29397204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkVanity/pseuds/DarkVanity
Summary: Working as a maid in the Castle of Dimitrescu is something you would have never you thought have enjoyed but you do because of the BIG TALL HOT VAMPIRE LADY WHO RUNS THE DAMN PLACE!
Relationships: Lady Dimitrescu (Resident Evil) & Reader, Lady Dimitrescu/reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 146





	1. You the Maid

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter of this gay ass fic. I haven’t planned out of how things are gonna go later on but ideas will come eventually. I was too eager to share this with y’all and to show the love we all have of the big tall vampire lady
> 
> I haven’t really seen the demo, only parts and a few things may be off but that’s ok

Here you are. 

A maiden in a castle working for a woman who is feared throughout the whole entirety of the village that sits down below the hill of the castle. Probably throughout the whole world. 

You must say, the Lady scares the shit outta you but feel warm inside once she’s in your presence. Whether you’re cleaning around the castle and she comes around or called for personal assistance, which is pretty rare, such as due to her EXTREME height, she will sometimes need help obtaining whatever she needs in a room with a door that is too small for her. 

You don’t know what it is about her but she makes you feel fuzzy inside. Maybe it’s her height or her beautiful enchanting looks. Maybe both… you may have a height fetish.  
Orrrrr…….

The huge rack. 

You and your best friend Shroom (who was given the nickname because of their mushroom stash hidden somewhere in the castle and who is also a maiden) are currently in the kitchen along with other fellow maidens preparing dinner for Dimitrescu and her daughters. 

They eat the most top quality meals while your group eats the left over excess ingredients. Your meal is usually a roll and either a piece of meat or fruit.  
On some days, the Lady may find your groups’ services (not like that) impressive and reward all of you with a big meal to make for yourselves. That is a rare occurrence and thank the gods whenever it happens. 

You were at the stove sizzling a big juicy steak. The smell was delicious. Sucks it wasn’t for you. 

“Hey I was thinking” said Shroom behind you lathering a turkey in butter. 

“Yes?” 

“We both know damn well Lady is rich as hell” 

Of course, this castle says so “Yes and?” You said as you flipped the steak over. There goes the s i z z l i n g.

“Why doesn’t she invest in bigger doors? She too cheap for that?” 

You both chuckled, a few maidens heard and gave a small laugh. True. But you worried for Shroom’s safety of making fun of the woman. You lowered your voice “Ay pipe it down a little Shroom, she may hear you” 

“I’m just saying, you think it gets a little annoying for her to keep bending down in order to get through?”  
You heard Shroom open the oven door then set the turkey inside. 

“I’m sure she’s used to it by now, but damn. I would hate that” You checked the steak’s tenderness, making sure it’s cooked the way the ladies like it. Ayup.  
You grabbed a set of tongs in a drawer nearby then lifted the steak off of the grill.  
You placed it down on a clean porcelain plate. 

A maiden came by and grabbed the plate to place down vegetables and other sides at a different station. 

You set the grill off knowing that your part is done. You turned around to meet Shroom. “Need some help?” 

Shroom closed the oven door then straightened up “Hmm… no thanks, all I had to do was prepare the turkey. Now all we gotta do is wait” they said as they leaned against the counter.

As much as you wanted to do that, you couldn’t. Lady may come in any minute and see you two slacking off which most ultimately will lead to punishment. And you wouldn’t want that.  
Few months ago, a maiden had been caught slacking by Lady herself and was never seen again. You were too afraid to question Dimitrescu and kept silent acting like everything was ok.  
You and Shroom would bring up the maiden whenever one of you would feel the need to lounge around. As messed as it seemed but it motivated the two of you to get your jobs done. 

“You think we should clean a little in the dining room? We don’t wanna end up like the fallen maiden, we never knew what happened to her” you leaned against the kitchen counter near Shroom. 

They groaned and tilted their head up to the ceiling “That’s too much work…“ You met their eyes again ”fine I guess..” 

You both exited the kitchen and tidied up the dining table. Setting wine glasses down in their places. Arranged the utensils then dusted off the nearby furniture. 

A bell rang. It’s haunting sound sent chills down your spine every time it rung. This meant the women will be coming in soon. You and Shroom stood aside near an empty spot of the wall. 

Maidens piled in and set the well organized plates down in their places. Few wine bottles were set down in the center. 

Once the maidens were done, they stood aside along with you and Shroom. 

Then.

The door opened. 

The daughters came in glaring at each and every one of you.  
The blonde loved scaring you pathetic maidens so she jerked forwards and growled.  
The maiden next to you screamed which made you cringe. 

The blonde laughed then sat at her place. Waiting for their mother. 

A black hat peaked through the door then came a body that was well dressed and held the hat. 

You knew damn well who it was. 

Lady Dimitrescu.  
Once she got through the door, she rose up to her full height and viewed the maidens. 

You locked eyes with her for a second which caused you to look aside, anything other than her golden piercing eyes.  
You became tense as her gaze upon you become even harder. 

If looks could kill as they say. You’d be beyond dead. Palms are becoming sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. (stfu I couldn’t resist) 

Seconds later, the gaze has been lifted off of you.  
You mentally sighed in relief. 

Lady panned over to the table then parted her lips “I would like to thank you maidens for preparing such a lovely dinner” she ran her finger along the end of the dining table. 

Her voice was so soothing, every time she spoke made you weak in the knees. She had the voice of a lioness who was ready to pounce at any second yet had to keep her posture. 

She looked in your direction again. 

Thoughts ran through your mind thinking you’ve done something wrong.  
‘Crap, what did we forget? Something missing on the table? Shit’

Dimitrescu sat down at her spot then waved a hand “You are dismissed” 

Immediately, the maidens exited. You and Shroom followed along. 

All the pressure building inside of you evaporated as you sighed. 

Shroom nudged your shoulder “You ok there?” 

You nodded “Dude, when she looked at us I thought we were dead” 

Shroom agreed. 

You two headed down to the room you two shared. 

Down the halls, to the left, right, yadda yadda. You were there. 

You opened the door allowing Shroom in first. 

Shroom flopped down onto their worn down bed and groaned. “Ahh… much better” 

You closed the door behind you and scanned the room.  
Stone walls/floor decorated with a worn down rug and trash from the two of you that ate lunch a few days ago.  
In between of your twin sized beds was a dresser topped with a candelabra which lit the whole room.  
A small bookshelf sat in the right corner of the room which is where you and Shroom keep yourselves entertained.  
Another way you were entertained, was a guitar that sat atop of your bed. You had found it months ago when you were sent off into the village for some errands that were given to you. You were thinking that while in the village you could’ve escaped. 

But you didn’t. 

Because you are a s i m p. 

Anyways while you were sent off, you entered a shop searching for new cooking utensils. You found them then beside it laid the guitar. It’s nice smooth wooden exterior caught your eye, and you were interested in the guitar ever since you were little. The shopkeeper was surprisingly cool giving it to you for free. 

“Take it, no one wants it, it’s taking up too much space” 

The quality is great and all the strings are there. Heck yeah you’re taking this. You thanked the shopkeeper then continued on with your errands.  
When you returned, you were met with Dimitrescu. Was she waiting for your arrival? 

She looked down at you raising an eyebrow “What have you got there?” 

You couldn’t speak. You could die right here right now just for having this.  
“A… g-guitar….” 

She looked down at the guitar then back to you “As long as it doesn’t affect your performance I’m fine with it. And…” 

AND WHAT!? 

“It wouldn’t be awful to have some entertainment” 

She would like some entertainment from you? WHAT?! 

“Play that well and I may reward you” 

You’re gonna practice the fuck outta this thing. 

She waved a hand “Dismissed” 

You immediately turned around then headed down to your room. 

Months later, present day. You play decently. You found a couple of books that contained sheet music in the library. You studied the basics of music and its terminologies.  
You have gotten the basics down but need more studying because of the damn notes on the fretboard.

You walked over to your worn down bed and picked the guitar up. You sat down on the bed which sank you in a little due to its old mattress.  
The guitar sat on your leg while the other was prompted up on a wooden box, easing the neck of the guitar up to have more hand movement. You were in position to start playing. 

Lowering your fingers down to the strings of the sound hole, you struck a low E. 

You played a scale then noodled around the fretboard to find which notes sound good together to create your own piece. 

“Ay you’re becoming pretty good, keep it up” said Shroom who in your peripherals was tossing a mushroom between their hands. 

You hummed as in thanks.

You continued until the bell rang, signaling all of you maidens to sleep. 

You sat the guitar down by the bookshelf and climbed into bed. Sure the bed may feel a bit uncomfortable but it was heaven after a long day. 

Shroom blew out the candles and wished you a good night. 

You said the same then slept.


	2. Oh Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well you woke up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very happy to see that you guys love this! 
> 
> This chapter is a little short because I love to build some suspense and leave y’all on edge. 
> 
> Tell me what you think of this chapter.

You woke naturally. Y’know when you get used to waking up at a certain time? Yeah that. It should be around 7:00 in the morning. 

You rubbed your eyes then rose up, the bed creaked with every movement. You looked up at the clock that sat atop of the door. You were right, it was 7:00. 

Across from your bed was Shroom who was still asleep. You maidens have 15 minutes to get ready for your day, and time comes by fast. You decided to wake your friend up so they have time to ready themselves.  
“Psst… Shroom!” You got out of bed then walked over to Shroom’s.  
You nudged their shoulder “Shroom. C’mon it’s time to wake up” 

They groaned then placed their pillow on top of their head “Hnnngg… five more minutes…” 

“It’s been five minutes”  
See how fast it came by?

They sighed then tossed their pillow to the end of their bed. They rose up and stretched which caused a yell to come from them.  
You gave Shroom some space then opened the dresser for a clean outfit.  
Every maiden has the same outfit, of course, which was a black textured tailcoat with black lace around the collar. Underneath is a white ruffled shirt with sleeves that poke out from the end of the tailcoat’s sleeves.  
Next were slacks that were pretty skinny, and fitted you well. Finally, the last of the outfit were shiny boots topped with spats. 

You pulled a pair out for Shroom and yourself. You handed it to Shroom. 

“Thanks dude” Shroom took the pair then got out of bed to change. 

You both turned away to give yourselves privacy. You sat the clothes on your bed then started to change into the fresh pair.  
As you changed, you thought of what you might be doing today. Will you wash clothes? Prepare the women’s breakfast? Clean the whole castle?  
You don’t know, you’ll have to see once you receive your schedule for the day. 

You finished changing and still faced the wall waiting for Shroom to be finished. 

You can hear Shroom struggling clearly “This damn button is pissing me off” 

You laughed a bit then was interrupted by a knock on the door. You wondered if Shroom was finished “Ay you done? The schedules are here” 

You heard a zip then Shroom “Yup” 

You walked over to the door then opened it. 

It was a fellow maiden holding you and Shroom’s schedule in hand. 

“Good morning (Y/N)” she looked past you for Shroom. “Shroom”  
Her eyes averted back to you. “Here are your schedules for the day” 

You took the schedules then handed Shroom theirs. 

“Thank you Breanna” you wanted to start some small talk with Breanna. You haven’t seen her since last week. You two would usually goof off when cleaning around the castle.  
“How have you been? How’s your schedule?” 

Breanna looked off to the side thinking. Her hand rested on her chin. “Well first thing I gotta do is to give everyone their schedule. Which sucks because I have to wake up SUPER early and run all around the castle” 

You hope you would never have to do this job. Whoever took it said it was hell. Some have passed out from exhaustion after their day from having to run around the castle giving a schedule under a short amount of time. 

Oh shit, you’re wasting Breanna’s time. 

“And if you’re wondering” Breanna spoke “I’m finished, you two were my last” 

Oh thank god. 

“Now I have to prepare breakfast. After that is to clean the library, the fireplace, serve lunch” she sighed “It goes on y’know? Good luck with y’all’s” 

You wished her good luck as well.  
Breanna waved you two goodbye then walked down the hall to her next location. 

You closed the door then viewed your schedule.  
Ok ok, first is preparing breakfast, cleaning the bathrooms, help Breanna clean the fireplace. The list goes onnnnnn….. 

Shroom popped up behind you which lost your place on the list “Hey man, what do you have?” 

You turned to Shroom and listed the things on your schedule. You two compared your schedules and were excited every time you two had a job together. 

As you read the last job. 

Your heart sank. 

“Hol up… am I reading this right?” You squinted and rubbed your eyes. “My eyes must be deceiving me” 

“What do you mean?” Said Shroom. They read the last then pulled away. “Woaaahhhhh….”  
Shroom scratched their head then rubbed their neck “Damn… you definitely need all the luck in the world” 

You had to report to Lady Dimitrescu herself for her entertainment. 

You now wish you never found that guitar. 

You began hyperventilating. Your heart pounded so hard you could probably see it pounding underneath your shirt. It became hot all of a sudden, sweat formed on your forehead “Dude….. holy shit…..”  
You dropped to your knees. 

Shroom bent down to your level then placed their hands on your shoulders, rubbing in a soothing manner “It’s ok man calm down” 

After a minute of Shroom calming you down you finally eased yourself. 

Shroom removed their hands from your shoulders then stood up. They offered their hand for you to take. 

You took it then stood up. Knees are hella weak. You buried your face in your hands “Shroom….” You shook your head. “I may die” you looked up at Shroom who had a concerned expression on their face. 

“It’s alright man, you’re pretty good at playing. Maybe… practice before it starts. Take your mind off it and focus on the guitar while you play. Pretend she isn’t there” 

That’s gonna be hard as hell. She’s gonna be the only thing you see in your peripherals while you play.  
“I don’t know if I can do that, She's huge! She’s gonna be the only thing I see” 

The bell rang. 

Time for your jobs to begin. 

You sighed. 

Shit. 

Shroom broke the silence “Hey you’ll do ok” they raised a hand indicating for a high five “eh?” 

The muscles in your face naturally formed a small smile “Sure I guess man”  
You walked over to the door and held it open waiting for Shroom to exit first. 

As they passed you, you spoke “But I’m gonna die”  
You shut the door as you walked out. 

Shroom followed along side you as you both walked down the hall  
“Think positives, no negatives. Let’s see… you’re great at the guitar. Better than all of us maidens, we don’t know shiet about the guitar but you do.  
I believe Lady Dimitrescu knows that your job performance is well so your chance of death may be low. Losing a member will lower our quality, which will lead to more jobs on our schedule then it’ll lead to exhaustion which will eventually kill us. Annddd….” 

And what?..... 

Shroom chuckled “I see the way you look at Dimitrescu”

You felt your face heat up. Really? Are you that obvious?

As if Shroom read your mind  
“Oh yeah. Every time she comes in, your attention immediately pans to her giving her googly eyes”

“A-are you serious?” Your voice was low as hell. 

Shroom nudged your shoulder “You’re obvious as hell bro” they laughed. 

You blushed even harder. You must’ve looked like a tomato.

”If you have a little something something on her, then… you’ll die a happy maiden in the hands of such a… well to you a lovely woman” 

‘I guess’ you thought. 

You and Shroom came to a hallway leading down different paths. 

Shroom turned to you “Good luck, you can do it” 

You nodded. “Thanks man” 

Shroom hummed then walked down a path to their job. 

You had to take a right which lead the way to the kitchen.  
You inhaled then let it all out. 

You may die today. 

You couldn’t stop thinking about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think will happen next? 
> 
> Leave it in the comments. 
> 
> Oh yeah. Happy Valentine’s Day even though nothing sus has happened yet.

**Author's Note:**

> My writing is shite I know
> 
> Lemme know if y’all want some more so I can become motivated


End file.
